Don't

If you don't know me, spare me your 2 cents.

I don't give a damn.

It's pretty annoying, when people come to your house under the pretext of friendship,
but all they seem to do, is question or criticize all your choices and actions.
and they do it aaaalll like they know me thaaaat well.

Hey stupid.Noone's perfect.
Thanks for your 'concern' but no thanks.

*first time in my adult life that i actually slammed the door behind me without greeting the 'guest' goodbye and headed straight to bed*

But thank you. A perfectly good night's sleep was ruined.

Note to self : friends of friends aren't necessarily your friends.

It's not the end of the world.

Another day. Another rejection.

What i want and try so hard to get is hardly ever attainable.
But what i try to avoid, is easily (too much so) obtained.
Life can really pull some mean jokes at times.

Looks like i'll be sucked into that blackhole.again.

Swimming/struggling against the current is tough. Enough said.

Tick tock

Sometimes i can't help but question my actions.
A year older. A year wiser (supposedly)
Am i running away from life?
But then, am i not the one who define it?
In my head, there's these ideals.
Though i'm seriously losing motivation to pursue it.

and they say i was always the one most driven in whatever i chose to do.
maybe that's just the problem.
i still can't quite decide/choose?

Finally. Blogging on the go.

Not that my life is getting any more interesting these days. But. I figured thoughts should be recorded. And be read by those who really are interested in them. So here goes nothing ...

What am i doing?

Quarter life crisis? if there is even such a thing?

You tell me.
1. Graduated. but i still can't see clearly what lies ahead. and that is slowly sending me into a state of panic.

2. Time off. Decided to take some, while sorting out visa stuff and whatnots. In the meantime, doing some casual work (non-archi related) It is fun. but not having a full time thing can get to you sometimes. How much free time can one handle anyway?

I hate not knowing, not being able to plan a year ahead (at least) . Only now do i understand the hardships of an international student. We've all been taking things for granted in the comforts of our own homesoil.

They say 'Life begins at the end of your comfort zone'

Well, we can only hope.

Things need to change...

I've always considered myself a late bloomer.
Painfully shy/timid for the first 17 years of my life, i got past it finally after entering 6th form in a different school.
But eventhough i communicate better with people since, there's still that wall i put up unintentionally when getting to know people.
The worst part is i get to know them best as they're about to leave or i have to leave. It's so funny when you come to think about it.

Saturday night. Walked home from work. Front gate was jammed. Would you believe it. Tried to kick the gate open. And all this being watched by my neighbour, who was standing outside, talking on his phone. Well, thought he would not have seen my struggling with the gate since he was preoccupied. Guessed wrong.haha.

He rushed to my side of the fence....and said "take it easy...haha...did you lock it?"
since it was dark and i usually never lock my gate anyway, he offered to kick it for me.
passed me his beer bottle for safe-keeping, and pried my gate open for me. To be honest, i could have just jumped over it anyway. But that was a funny moment.

So although it was supposed to be an early night (since it was a bit slow at the restaurant), i spent almost an hour outside, just chatting to my neighbours. One by one the girls then started to come out and formal introductions were made... in the dark. Apparently, they were to move out of their house the very next day.

I could hear them cussing all the time from my house. Not to mention the loud music. and there they were, inviting me to party with them since it's their last night at the house.

Ah well, to keep things short, maybe i should have made an effort to get to know them. Maybe i should have made a lot more effort with many other people. Just because some people do bad stuff to you doesnt mean everyone's bad. I should really just be less paranoid about things.
Let's just hope things change. :)