Tired.

Honesty is the best policy?
But telling the truth may have been the greatest mistake of my 'career'.

Maybe im just exhausted.
Maybe im overthinking things.
But everything seems to just fit into the equation.
I don't like feeling undervalued. Though i may not be the best, but restrictions hinder growth.

Don't take away the one thing that makes me sane.
Why do i always feel like it's my fault. The guilt of dragging someone else into trouble bugs me.
I'm only here to learn. I keep on telling myself.I'm only here to learn.
Why is it so difficult to remember?
Chasing after so many things at once is indeed tiring...

Boy am i 'looking forward' to the year ahead.

humdrum...

Please lend me your ears. (or eyes)
Exasperation is making me implode.
Half of me is saying "make do with what you have"
The other half? "You don't have to take this kind of s***"
What's this all about?
If you know me, you should already know.
But if you don't, well...yeah. You're the reason i'm spouting 'nonsense'.
Not trying to be cryptic at the very least.
You know what, 30 mins is all i ask....and i shouldn't have to ask for what's rightfully mine to begin with.
Given up so much. Never asked for much. Regret much? *sigh*
Used to be really bothered about who actually reads about my 'thoughts' and random babbles...
I care too much about what people think. Maybe that's why this whole issue cropped up.
Pressure's building up. Holidays are coming. Ah how ironic.

Random thoughts.

So many things playing in my mind.

Yep. This is all just random.

How i wish now that i have a pet that i can bore to death with all the things bottled deep inside.

Sometimes i wonder why i even bother making social connections.

Noone stays.

I need to decide.

December. The month of festivities. Yet i dread its coming...

The "palm" water villa...and Gold Coast!

Welcome to Gold Coast...!


...the Sepang Gold Coast! (where it's only 25 minutes from KL international Airport! :P)

Out of sheer curiosity , after our site visit on saturday, we decided to have a look at this new construction project goin on. We actually went to have lunch, but due to some miscommunication, only got steamboat~ it works either way for me though....hehhe...


Cool huh. There's definitely some downsides to the design....aside from the high price! but the aerial view once it's 100% completed should be pretty awesome ( as pictured in their brochures~)

Can't wait till it opens ...and maybe i'll make that one hour trip just to have a look-see....XD

*Note: It seems that the time frame between blog posts are getting further and further apart. Time flies. It's almost 3 months already. Weekdays zoom by. Weekends? gone in the blink of an eye. aaaahhh!!! But then again, who'd wanna listen to me rant every single day rite? hahahha...

A matter of gettin' used to~

Yes people, i'm still alive and kickin'!
The first two months had its ups and downs.
I felt like an idiot (still do~) but am continuously learning from the people around me.

" so how do i like working with the firm?"
What do you think?

Site visits are fun. especially when it's right after a meeting with a client for a different project~

Working on a design necessitated a trip to Nilai (yeah...all the way to another state we went! :D) Yet another day of 'input'

And tell me....who could hate having satay while 'on-the-job'?...

and of course...rojak as dessert before heading back to the office.

Firm dinner in conjunction with Raya celebration.

Gotta say, you really get to know your colleagues once you see how they are with their families...

And today...almost the whole day was spent on 'entertaining' the client. more work pushed in my direction...but still...i can't say i hate it.
Things are finally being set in motion. Work piles up (does it ever go away? haha) but i'm STILL going to enjoy my weekend in Singapore.

Yet somehow, i can't help but feel sad. In a month's time, 2 more of my colleagues shall be leaving (to further study...and pave the way for a better future). I wish them all the best.

People always leave. Why do i even bother 'connecting'?

*note: this is all so random. i do apologize if nothing made sense! :P

Wake up call?

On one of the more relaxed days at the firm.My corner workstation. The amount of filing behind me could kill me if the shelf gave way. Somehow working on other people's projects put me more at ease than concentrating on my own...*sigh*

Work consumes you.
In less than 2 months since starting, i've already forgotten that i'm not supposed to treat it as work, but a learning experience instead.
So, thanks 'grandma' for reminding me of my initial intention.
Because i forgot that i was there to learn, I got so beaten down when everything seemed to go against me. Even brought me to question my personality...or lack there of?!?!
Yet another month to go of proving myself worthy. Let's hope i don't lose myself in the process.
But in all the challenges thrown at me, i'm glad that there exists people who don't mind my endless questions.
I'm in awe.
of how they manage to do it so effortlessly.

This is what i chose. This is what i want. and i shall work towards it!

it doesn't go away...

sometimes.
just sometimes. you'd wish things were different.
sometimes.
just sometimes. you get help from the least expected.
yet ALL the time.
you're hoping for something just to be disappointed.

Mini Raya Gathering

It was great having you guys over!
6 hours of catching up with each others' lives...
and i'm all set to head back to work tomoro.
well ...NOT really! :P
i miss school :(

How it's gonna be from now on~

Site inspection on a project i'm assisting on. first site meeting, Client Consultant meeting, and supplier meeting...DONE!

Highlights of today*:
*in no particular order, three different conversationswith three different people i had today.

"So i heard u had an argument with ur client today?"

"Will you be coming in for work on Tuesday although it is a Public Holiday?"

"Welcome to the architect's world~! wanna change courses now?"
___________________________________________________________

Officially, i've worked at an architectural firm for a WHOLE month. That's THIRTY days, people!
and i'm STILL alive!
But with the start of the second month, the pressure builds up. the realization sinks in.
Again the very same issues play in my mind...

.Clients.
.Deadlines.
.Achievability.
.Expectations.
.Capability.
.Limitation.
.Opportunity.

Things are definitely picking up. for the better or worse, we'll see soon won't we?

Looks like i won't be able to go photograph my project site tomoro. and i was so looking forward to just being out shooting away (even if it's boring housing development land~!heee) must prioritize!

Guess it's time to prove myself.

Should have noticed this~

It's Sunday and instead of sleeping in (as usual) i decided to read the back issue of Blue Print Asia i got for free. This particular issue somehow managed to showcase all the architectural pieces that eluded me when i travelled to South Korea and China...which can be rather frustrating if you ask me~ haha.

Did i actually miss this?!?!: (maybe partly due to the fact that we were chasing the CCTV building at night~!haha....or i'm just blur)

(images taken from www.sohochina.com/en/shangdu)

Designed by Peter Davidson of LAB Architecture Studio, The facetted glass surfaces of the tower facades are inscribed with a network of geometrically determined lines. At night the continuous light lines that follow this geometry forms a distinctive nocturnal image for the towers - resembling luminous jewels.



Randomized cladding of the structure with glass and aluminium panels. Nicely placed with the east and west facades having very minimal glass usage to reduce the heat gain. Yet i can't help but feel the building to be crazily scary during the daytime. haha.



Maybe in the future, i should read first about the 'interesting sights and scenes' before boarding that plane, eh?
which reminds me....i am on a travelling hiatus for now. *gasp!* how shall i survive? XD

Overwhelmed.

Alas, i believe the pace at the firm has just been exponentially increased! *sigh*


My mind is blank.
Too worried that i won't be able to pull this one off all by myself.

It was a colleague's last day at the firm today.

"Don't be dismayed at good-byes.
A farewell is necessary before you
can meet again. And meeting
again, after moments or lifetimes,
is certain for those who are friends."

-Richard Bach

I'll keep this in mind.

To Jalan Pudu it is.

Guess where i went. A supposed 30 min drive which dragged into an hour due to the very 'unpredictable' KL traffic.




I think you know the answer :D
It was pretty creepy...the block we went to being deserted and all...
Tomorrow , it's back to the same place...but to measure a different floor. just the two of us. Oh, what fun~!

Clients. Deadlines. Expectations. Achievability.
To answer to someone. To delegate tasks and handle my own responsibility. Dual role. To make sure by the time Raya comes, everything shall be completed. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Let's hope i don't get killed that soon then~!
Here's to the busiest week before the festivities!

Festivities round da corner~

Hari Raya is just around the corner~!
But i guess, as i get older, the excitement of awaiting the first day of Raya just slowly fades away/dies out (or is it ...dead?!?!)
2 weeks away and only now do we make our trip to Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman to get our kurungs/kebayas and whatnots.
Reached KL and immediately went to fabric stores. Let's just say...the entire trip was 85% about fabric! :D


I liked seeing the many colours and patterns of the fabric. It was fun trying to match the different people to the various pieces. Although i did go to buy the ready-made stuff...i ended up getting a few for myself as well~! yeaahhh...so i have NO self-control. hehe. and i can never say no.


The mom always walks ahead.


Raya cookies were being sold everywhere. Half of them i don't even know what they're called! So many..but oh, give me the chocolatey ones any day~


Sis tried out different outfits....and the verdict?


HA HA. she Liked it? Must be...or she smiles for no reason. now THAT would be scary.


As usual, the mirror shot. I could prolly start a whole collection of these self-cam shots...


And she wonders why people thought she was not her age....hehe...


Interestingly, although the WHO stated that Malaysians don't really care about the spread of H1N1, we saw lots of people actually wearing face masks...even to have people selling them on the streets! (i don't know how hygienic that is though~) It's an entirely different KL scene this year.


But what remains the same? the massive amount of people passing by the stalls.


One Malaysia. enough said.


They were EVERYWHERE! i was attracted to the spongebob. so cute! the spidermans were a lil freaky in my opinion...


There were traffic officers everywhere...yet people J-walked like nobody's business. You'll never see this happen in Singapore....not even when the cops aren't around~


Oh yeah, did i forget to mention that the reason for the high number of shoppers was the last day of sales at Sogo? It was reaaalllly CHEAP. queue was just painfully long, so we didn't even bother buying anything. works out better for the pockets anyway~ :P


Now this is common. Though if you ask me, there's so many other better ways to get aid.


Woo~! there's hello kitty and doraemon too! hahahhaa....


What'd i tell you? In KL, cars should be afraid of the pedestrians instead~! Try guessing whose turn it was to move?

It pays to shop~

Well, in this exception...it did pay to shop.
The sis won a compact camera (after some running around might i add :P)

Faking the 'enthusiastic look'? for the organizer? hehe..

Really just gonna let the pics do the talking...
HA HA !!. Cheap camera. But as expected, being the camera collector, i get to keep this one as well. XD Guess i can bring this to work now.

And yeah...retail therapy has reached a whole new level. Went to Petaling Street yet again with the sis and got these...
Yup. ALL of the above. Looks like it could take us a year to finish watching all of it (working takes up most of our time). But since they're all Japanese shows, there might soon be more additions to the 'family'.
We're crazy. i know. Well at least it'll keep my mind occupied for a short while~!

Nomad in No Man's Land?

photo of the modern theater performance (an elective i took) during co-curriculum day; 2008

And three weeks later,
I can't help but wonder,
Is it too soon to start questioning things?
__________________________________________________________________

Today's summary :
1. I realized that my workstation is a white elephant
2. In total, i've 'squatted' at 5 different workstations to do my work (counting the days before as well)
3. I'm pushing it. It really does take only 25 minutes for me to reach the office's doorstep. So i consciously decide to leave the house at 8.30 every morning. The early bird catches the worm. But too early and you might have to wait with the cleaner outside for the roller shutter to be unlocked! XD (excuses!)
4. Looking through material samples and brochures felt like going shopping! This part i love! My knowledge on the various materials (or lack thereof!) i HATE!
5. Punctuality has reached a whole new level. I arrive on time. and I leave on time. This can't be good. especially since the boss sees me leaving. BEFORE he does. oho.

Alright. that's enough depressing news. This weekend shall be fun. 3-days AGAIN! Tomorrow something interesting is in the works....will keep you posted.hehehe.happy stalking~!

What I Miss About School : (1)

Meet the Librarians!



Aaah...the school library....where i spent most of my time doing my homework, reading novels, wasting time, and SLEEPING! Ironically, we librarians were always the rowdiest. Sixth form was great fun. I really do miss those years.

Lesson of the day : 'Menopause'! XD

-Hopefully 'you' don't read my blog. And if 'you' do...please don't sue me. Hehhehehe...i simply can't resist putting this up. ^_______^

Down memory lane...

found this as i was going through my old travel photo collection. 2007: Vienna with sis and friend. Did we feel 'female enough'?

Been busy spring-cleaning my digital library and what i've realized?
I've basically terrorized those closest to me with my digital camera ever since i started 'borrowing' my dad's Ultra-zoom Olympus. This was back when i started sixth form.
Oh do I feel old now~! hehe.

Without the photos, I probably wouldn't even remember what transpired around me throughout those years (blame my extremely poor memory) so looking through the albums really was something. Flashbacks of my last schooling years (where my personal transformation really began) part-time working experiences... and the people i've met along the way. Sometimes i do wonder : would i have been able to make mental records of everything had it not been for my love of snapping everything in sight? XD
The same goes for blogging. I love being reminded of who i once was. Keeps me humble. To know that growth is a process that takes time. and effort.

Maybe i'll start putting up the old pics and vids . Well, the 'fun' ones at least.

3-Day Weekend!

The 3-day weekend is here~!
A weekend which is supposed to be filled with eating, movies, shopping, sleeping (in no particular order)....but most importantly NO work!
No eating as it is the fasting month...and... scratch the movies at cinema bit. I'm not afraid of death. But i'm not that dumb to go in search of a quick one~ hehe. Will just have to make do with the many bootleg dvds at home ( i know i know....'be original, see original') though it wouldn't be as exciting as having the ground beneath your feet shake when stuff like explosions happen!
Now shopping...went out right after breaking fast yesterday. Ooooh bad timing (for me at least. the sis had tonnes of fun!) Too many people due to the pre-sale event.
Will try it again at a different place. Today. hehehe....

The only thing i went home with yesterday:

Yumm! Just cos it was FREE! Iced Chocolate! Was tempted to try the cookies and cream...but decided against it. Cos i NEEDED to sleep last night. and sadly that one had espresso in it! *sigh*

I'm telling you. My fringe actually stopped growing. God must know that i'm not making enough that this particular 'style' is gonna have to last me for some time~! hahaha. That makes me the 'kid' at work.

For want of NOT having to adhere to a regimented sleeping schedule, have been forcing myself to never fall asleep before the clock struck midnite. Couldn't really fall back to sleep after the sahur at 5am. Tried to. woke up as though i was going to office on any normal day. HA HA. how ironic!Will have to see if the 'plan' to sleep in will actually work.

But then again, won't sleeping more make me more exhausted, and won't that just be a waste of my 'LONG BREAK'? XD

Stationery shopping~!

Here's what i got on my 'shopping spree' :

Naah...i didn't actually pay for any of the items. It's just that after almost two weeks of working (of course counting my sick leave as well! hehe) finally did i find out about the stationery treasure trove at the office. I was told to 'take whatever i want...as long as i record it down'. My heart almost gave way looking at them many many maaaany artlines! (FYI, i love them artlines and always lose them~!) I'm still shy-lah. so....when i really do need them, only will i take more. hehehhehehhe....i got my own calculator! such a 'jakun'.... :P

Yes, the day started out quite slow. Being back from 'the dead' (or as they say...the H1N1 scare),
i got quite the scare myself. It was already 9 am (normally that would mean being almost late to work!), but there was no one in the office. Weird thoughts started running through my mind :
1) OMG...Did everyone get sick because of me?!?!
2) Are they all on medical leave just when i finally can get back to work?!?! that'd suck!

Anxiety attack didn't manage to reach its all time high. The boss walked in 5 mins later. *phew*!

The whole day, as expected, everyone (almost!) managed to ask me if i was well, if i was tested...and the funniest bit was...about me not being quarantined. But I must have set the firm's record for the employee with the fastest application for leave (medical leave still requires forms to be filled...they're that efficient!). One week! XD think you can beat that?

I walked into the office realizing that my original work load was already being handled by my colleague...and with the project architect on leave, my job as project architect for my two projects must now begin...no excuses.
I was...CLUELESS! hahhahahaha.
What do you expect? stuff learnt from the books can't all be applied immediately. I am however glad to say that i think i might be getting the hang of things. a little. hehe.

Can't wait for Friday to end. Here comes the three-day weekend! and the final shopping spree of 2009! haha...riiite...

Conversation with meds...

This is what you get when you're feverish+ coughing, had too much sleep due to the meds and basically don't know what else to do as you've been given an extra day-off from work so as to not risk your fellow colleagues...

name darkened out so as to protect the individual's confidentiality

This particular conversation with an old skoolmate really made my day. They say laughter is the best medicine. And boy, i guess they were right. For a few minutes i felt better (even if after that the cough came back with a vengeance!haha). You never fail to crack me up!

I know i really should be heeding the doc's advice : drink lots of water, rest and bla bla bla....but the meds knocked me out from 9pm last nite. So here i am blogging...to ensure that my backbone does not end up getting merged with the mattress! (i do believe it's possible!)

Will try to change my mindset starting from today:

To take everything that's thrown at you in stride,
Believe that everything happens for a reason,
With every new experience (be it intended or not) you LEARN.
You don't choose what you learn,
But really...make the most of it.
At the end of the day,
you'll be the better person for it.

Asst. Architect >>>> Project Architect!

Today i got assigned as the Project Architect for two projects.
Overwhelming? You think?

Had an interesting day : first Architects' Meeting, First real assignments (note the 's'), first deadline, first meeting with potential supplier (wow i felt like my opinion actually counted!) and towards the end of the day...came down with HIGH fever. had to bring work back.

Will blog later. too sick to function. gah i hate this! might actually get my First scolding tomorrow...

The Gift of Time.

How do i say this.
i'd love to be able to show you how much i appreciate,
your being there,
your picking up my slack when i could not for my life care,
but most importantly, for being my older sister.
Another year means you're older and wiser.
Another year means you've been given the gift of time.
Happy birthday dear sis!
Who said you're only special a day of the year?
Let's celebrate all year round!
and then the next!

No , i don't enjoy eating at expensive places. i just thought we should do something today instead of just staying indoors. We'll definitely celebrate when everyone's all better. Can't wait! hehehe...

Can't resist putting this up. I love how my sis is sporting when it comes to my snapping weird shots of her~you know i love youu....wahahaha...so yeah..again...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
__________________________________________________________________

On a side note, today i went to the Ramadhan Bazaar for the first time. I don't even know for sure whether i'll be able to go again except for weekends cos work ends late and trying to get back home by 7pm is a challenge by itself! *sigh*

My sister is the eager one when it comes to walking under the hot sun to get her 'treats'.

There's like this unwritten rule on which side of the street you have to walk on. I guess it's just natural...cos normally, there's too many people and it's hard when everyone's walking everywhere!

Too bad that this time, there aren't as many kuih-muihs as i'd like. What happened to the good ol' days where there were more light snacks than heavy meals being sold? hmm..


Oh yeah...! Kebabs! How we loove them~!

40 minutes spent just walking around getting food that we may not even finish. But it was fun. Saw so many things that i wanted to test. Will have to pace myself. Or risk wasting so much food. Remember...you have 30 days....no wait...less than that! XD

Happy fasting everyone!